Some observations on my boys

I have two boys aged 5 & 3.  I have no idea how my gender survives beyond this age range, here's why:

No distance is too short that I can't cover it at full speed.

I like to carry out conversation at ear splitting volume levels.

Anything you ask me to do is, at best, a mere suggestion (unless preceded by "I've told you x times already").

"yeah, she's crying" is empathy.

My selective memory is photographic "awwwww I never get to stay up".

The direction I am running is not the direction I am looking.

I am in constant denial "I'm not a little boy, I'm a big boy.  He's a little boy" .... "No I'm not. Muuuuuuuuuuuuum!".